Montana

Ian Powell-Palm

                                                                   

1

 

White crosses: scattered across the highway: 

 

Puncture wounds in God’s vision: driving this state: 

 

Is like uprooting a graveyard: and after the highway has taken what it came for:

 

The woman cradles her daughter: recovered from the shattered jaw

 

Of a Pegasus: all teeth and broken wing: as if her body is another syllable

 

God can no longer pronounce: gripping her tongue: she carves the meat

 

Into a violin:  Sonatas through her sobs for the children

 

This state has changed: Tell them that in the corners: Of this beauty lurks the bones of my

 

Mother: and the children she will never meet: Boys who will never walk again

 

Despite their faith: Tell them that my family lines these mountains, their crosses spitting

 

Out directions to nowhere.

 

 

 

2

 

80 down main street, the vodka

 

                bleeding through both our hands

 

like water, she flips the car

 

because the police have reached us

 

 too quickly, and the road beneath

 

is already calling our names, like a child,

 

admitting that its known

 

how to claim our lives, all this time, like it did my sister,

 

or my brother when his knees shattered

 

against the dashboard, 23 in Wisconsin,

 

the pickup truck crashing through him

 

                like a father

 

and you might ask, so what? Kids die in cars all across America, 

 

but at least Montanans acknowledge it, at least we fashion

 

a cross from what’s left of our hands and mark where our bodies

 

left us.

 

when the car flipped, my sister’s body flashing like a vision

               

before my eyes

 

I bound my face in a white sheet, let the men carry me back

 

from sight

 

back from the boy mangled on the stretcher

 

calling for his mother.

 

his body, limp

 

like a prayer we’ve all heard before.

 

 

 

3

 

Long down that backroad of throat: was a country, on the other side of language:

 

I could see Marie’s body there, a slab of meat on the morgue’s metal. Her breasts

 

Two shut eyes, purpled with knots.

 

 I tried to scream: But my voice had been crushed into music: ‘that’s my city, what have you

 

Done to her-’: I cried, but the women, and the men who had once been women,

 

Held me back, all of us watching

 

As the flames gnawed through every living thing in sight.

 

 

 

4

 

Then, I saw it.

 

At the end of my family’s dying really was a field.

 

 Beside its stream, Mother and I prepared a fire

 

For our daughter’s body, Marie’s cross clenched between us

 

Like a chokehold. When Father returned from beating in cars

 

In the junkyard, his hands shredded to bone, mouth glistening

 

Like an axe wound, we fashioned a blanket from his hip

 

And laid it down softly. A white sheet across our eyes 

 

We willed her back to living, our daughter’s spirit 

 

Breaking furiously into flesh. Tracing her rib,

 

Jutting and large, its sharpness drew blood. 

 

We then touched our gutted eyes, wet with the sunshine,

 

Wet with Marie’s tears. All of us,

 

So lost in our joy that we refused to acknowledge

 

The reasons

 

We couldn’t stop shaking

 

 

***

Ian Powell-Palm is a writer, poet, and musician currently living in Belgrade, Montana. His work attempts to interrogate familial trauma, sexual identity, and the resurrection of the dead. You can read more of his poetry on Facebook at ‘Powell-Palm Poetry’.