Christina Strigas
I’m sorry I was an ugly baby. I’m sorry I thought I was adopted. I never fit into a mold. I hated my beautiful body.
I’m sorry about being a good girl. I wanted to be so bad, but my bad was never bad enough for you.
I’m sorry for never failing a course. I’m sorry I wasn’t a star pupil. Cracks liked me. They opened up their concrete.
I’m sorry I didn’t study Business. I’m sorry I’m a poet. I could have made more money and have had less heartache.
I don’t forgive myself for never moving out. It was never the right time, and now all the times are buried.
I apologize for not being you. I tried so hard, up until I drank so much, I forgot who you were.
I regret that I broke all your house rules. Sneaking out the window was for fun.
I’m sorry I never told you about your friend who almost raped me. I wanted to, but your card game seemed more important.
I’m sorry I cheated on my first boyfriend. I never even loved him.
I apologize for being too quiet; people offend me daily.
I’m sorry I can’t clean the house like you want me to do. I would rather write.
I apologize for being a vegan, meat makes me nauseous.
I’m sorry I love my children too much. They always forgive me.
I don’t forgive myself for lying.
I’m sorry about last night, I was too tired to have sex. I wanted to write a poem about it instead.
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Christina Strigas’s work has appeared in Montreal Writes, Feminine Collective, Neon Mariposa Magazine, Pink Plastic House Journal, BlazeVOX, Thimble Lit Magazine, Twist in Time Literary Magazine, The Temz Review, and Coffin Bell Journal. She teaches ESL to adults at McGill University, and French at a public elementary school for The Sir Wilfred Laurier School Board. She lives in Montreal, with her husband and two children. She writes novels for The Wild Rose Press.