Gavin Boyter
TRANSCRIPT OF ADDRESS TO THE NATION BY KEITH DENBEIGH,
PRIME MINISTER, October 5th 2037.
Hello everyone. I’ve been asked to talk to you today to reassure the people of Britain, as well as those watching from overseas, that recent rumours circulating on social media and in certain newspapers, are entirely factually inaccurate. My cabinet and I have been working tirelessly to dispel and counter such misinformation, which can only serve to create an atmosphere of mutual suspicion and rising panic. Please think of those less fortunate than yourselves at this time of crisis and promulgate the information I am going to present in this briefing this afternoon.
Do this and you will save lives. God help us, you may even save humanity as we know it, for, let me be very clear, there currently is no cure for the Syndrome.
That said, whilst preparing for the worst, it is incumbent on us, as your elected leaders, to learn from our shared past, deal with the present crisis and to plan for the future.
What follows is a summary of the measures that have and must be taken if we are to get through the current crisis and return to our normal lives.
Firstly, please let me reiterate that this is a global crisis, and we are seeing similar measures being taken, indeed in some countries, even more drastic measures, to curtail the effects of the current, unexplained Syndrome, which many of us have seen our loved ones fall subject to. As you know, the condition, whereby sufferers become, colloquially, “automatons”, is presumed to be some sort of viral infection. As yet, we do not know how it is transmitted and we have not identified any known source. Nor have we identified, in a laboratory, the actual virus itself, which we suspect may be incredibly small or well-camouflaged. Suffice it to say, at the nearby Francis Crick Institute, and at other facilities, we have many, many very intelligent and accomplished people working on it, and we will ultimately prevail.
We do know, from analyses done on the geographical spread and distribution curves drawn up by our statisticians, that it behaves very much like a virus, and so we have instituted similar measures as seen in the Covid-19 pandemic back in 2020. You are required to maintain the following:
- Complete lockdown, except for three weekly outings for exercise, to be taken on the days specified in your Personal Information Pack, which will have been thrown to your individual in-hand devices and sub-retinal readers.
- Food and other essential provisions will be delivered by drone or pedibot. Please let us know if your mandated weekly delivery does not arrive on time.
- Please maintain the strict hygiene protocols we have outlined, regarding personal touching, the use of skin-membranes and wearing of in-thorax breath filtration systems. I myself have an in-thorax system and, although a little uncomfortable, it affords me confidence that, should I become infected, I will not pass on this disease.
- Please report any new infections to the hotline number appearing on your screen, or by B-link, remembering to blink three times to initiate and end your message. This service is also available on Tongue-Tap, for our sight-impaired citizens.
If we all maintain these three simple strictures, namely social isolation, rigorous personal hygiene and swift reporting, be believe we can halt the spread of this iniquitous disease and flatten the curve of the current outbreak.
And now, I must dispel some ugly rumours and misinformation which I’m afraid to say my colleagues in opposition have taken it upon themselves to promulgate. First, and foremost, you cannot become, what people are terming a “creeper”, simply by staring into someone’s eyes for too long. We know of no mechanism by which this could prove possible and it is unhelpful to spread such unfounded and frightening rumours. Secondly, there is no reason to associate a feeling of being perpetually chilly, with the onset of this infection. Many circulatory conditions, and of course, old age itself, can lead to one feeling cold when others around do not.
Lastly, some of you may think it amusing to suggest that members of our cabinet, and indeed, even myself, are already infected and are consciously spreading this condition though active and prolonged staring. Make no mistake, this is a falsehood, just as it is also untrue that drinking large volumes of tea, or running on the spot until you become breathless, can halt the onset of the Syndrome.
Let me be very clear – should you see a loved one, or even feel yourself that you are becoming infected, you must report it within ten minutes, as per the approved methods already described. Should you not do so, the syndrome will move to the final phase of infection, whereupon the infected person becomes immobile, whilst doing what some religious commentators have described as “speaking in tongues”. It is believed, though I must stress that we do not fully understand the mechanism of transmission, that an infected person is most contagious, during this period of glossolalia, which some are calling the “babble”. So these are the signs that you must look out for.
Finally, allow me to reiterate that, having met with other world leaders at the global summit last weekend, there is a unified strategy in place for dealing with this current crisis. We learned valuable lessons twenty-seven years ago, with Coronavirus and we will not repeat those mistakes, with your cooperation and self-sacrifice. I would like to thank each and every viewer of this broadcast for hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes kisslitti ish mannito rubo castada dron Hyming razarna fluetes…
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Gavin Boyter is a Scottish writer and filmmaker living in London. He has published two travel memoirs about running ludicrously long distances, Downhill from Here and Running the Orient. The latter book charts his 2300 mile run from Paris to Istanbul, following the 1883 route of the Orient Express. His stories have been published in Constellations, Bluing the Blade, DIAGRAM, Riptide, The Closed Eye Open, Bright Flash, La Piccioletta Barca, Every Day Fiction and The Abstract Elephant. He is also the writer-director of the 2015 independent film Sparks and Embers.