Kate Polak
For Cancer
For hunger without
desire. For
it to drip down my throat.
For that third
slice of pizza.
That fourth drink.
All of the smoked
almonds
in the bag, and a pack
of cigarettes besides.
Give it
to me. I want it
on the inside. I want
hollandaise.
I want to never have
to eat again. How clean
it feels eating
that salad at lunch:
a side of fruit, sparkling
water and
a breakfast of nothing.
How I hate that tidiness—
of my body,
of the things I flense
to fit in the seats that
were made for
me. How I love that
tidiness: being small and being
praised for it.
When I stop to feel
the roundnesses in me
it’s a feeling
not unlike pain.
***
Kate Polak is an artist, writer, and teacher. Her work has recently appeared in Plainsongs, McSweeney’s, So to Speak, Barzakh, The Closed Eye Open and elsewhere. She lives in south Florida and aspires to a swamp hermitage.