adelina sarkisyan
and perhaps I was born for this
quiet, dear body,
smaller than you were this time last year
easier to carry
you are what you are by what you are not
o creeping miracle
softness no longer your purpose
some days you lie so small
I don’t recognize you at all
god of me, who are you?
I don’t remember a time when I didn’t hold you
in, your flatness the flatness of men
& I hate the way men hate,
with a touch of the vampiric
maybe I am for this —
this this this that is drawn to the wet wet of living
like a babe I feel with an open mouth
the sweetness of bodies like falling geese in a rainstorm
one terrible thing swallowing another
and so it goes, I into you into mouth into you
into pupil into you into spring into you
into air into you into body into you
into you into you into you
into birdsong and you the great, sharp beak of night
I can’t help it; I am so many things at once
so many things without even the thought to be
and they come and go like no particular promise
oh listen —
there is an old love of the unnatural in me
into which I once fell and keep falling
I cannot help but smile
I cannot contain you who contains me
(title from the film Nosferatu)
***
Adelina Sarkisyan is an Armenian-American writer based in Los Angeles. Her writing has been nominated for Best of Net and appeared in various publications, online and in print. She is the Poetry Editor for Longleaf Review. Find her on Instagram @adelinasarkisyan and Twitter @etherealina.